How To Plan A Successful Marriage

Wrong holiday! Crap! I don’t even know where I’m at in the world it’s because it’s that we all miss that it’s not enough gonna say you’re right this is New Year New Year’s I’d never change the hat thing but you know realize somebody said it is eight are you really leaving it’s New Years like January is next month next week next year next decade so you’re gonna get what is this what is this happen are you doing what does this hat mean what do you mean for New Year’s you know this is the kind of man you won’t get free aware right you won’t get fouled up Ellen I want to get freaky with me
oh crap I don’t even know where a man in the world it’s because it’s that we all know that it’s not enough gonna say you’re right this is New Year New Year’s so I gotta change the hat thing but you know realize somebody said it is eight are you really leaving it’s New Year’s like January is next month next week next year next decade so you’re gonna get what is this what does this have are you doing what does this hat mean what do you mean for New Year’s you know this is the kind of man you won’t get free
all right so you can find this on Instagram Twitter or podcast Apple podcasts we have a website have a marriage calm I’m currently working at
redesigning it you didn’t know but I am boom all right kind of everywhere we’re trying that we’re trying to get a little more skilled with this thing it’s a new for your patients something today maybe get a facial I just look like a
three-day drunk she’s gonna love this later when she sees a nun no it’s a 60
nose my comedy you know we’ve gone in the three hundreds have talked a lot about sex in different ways and settings if you must any other three hundred you missed out on sex problems but you can always go back we we have know that sex is gone you can never give it back again okay so
you’re gonna exercise stuff is going on sale this is the big push forget that
New Year’s resolution in and actually just want to challenge you the same
exact ways everything else because you’ve one more thing on your list right okay no um not to worry about exercise not to worry about anything but actually invest in your marriage because you could be fat and happy which is better than being fat and divorced really
really important thing you know the
generations that thing was really really
good when we were talking about earlier
today who said you know generations baby
boomers and those before the Silent
Generation they had to work really
really really really hard for things the
Silent Generation had to work harder
than the baby boomer generation and if
something was broken you had to figure
out how to fix it right because there
were there was enough money to make just
go and buy another buy another when that
didn’t actually make things that way
there was no crime there was no Amazon
there was no internet yeah so I think so
what your on the marriage was a little
bit easier not I’m not saying easier I’m
just saying what else is yet to do that
day well but the thought to put into it
was easy there was work on it that was
merrily whatever baby sister yeah so you
had to work on your marriage because you
know cuz you’re the only person that’s
gonna entertain you there’s nothing on
television and the radio was kind of a
thing and you know like your grandmother
she she had stories of what saving 10 or
eating powdered milk yeah and so if you
look at that generation then you move up
to the baby boomer generation which was
my parents they they worked really
really hard to make sure that they have
a successful marriage
that generates the next words is our
generation week we are latchkey kids our
parents went to work because that
previous generation instilled a high
work ethic and so we were left home
alone a lot of times just to raise
ourselves and so and then after our
generation is the reason why Generation
Y’s Millennials Millennials and what
happened to them and this is just an
idea right right just an idea is that we
have the work hard work ethic from our
parents and that’s passed on and then
now our kids that we left at home have
been raised by social media TV and
Google so Google’s your mother and so
and then that and then what happens is
that then nothing really seems to be
hard working language like it’s really
easier and this is the complaint about
the millennial generation is that they
want things now it has to be easy it has
to be fast I will make my millions and I
want to make them right now I don’t want
to work hard for it if I have to work
hard for it and it must be a thing that
I don’t want to do let’s go make the
million million somewhere else and when
you have a generation right and when you
have a generation that thinks that way
it needs to come easy or it’s not gonna
come at all that’s not conducive of
marriage right a happy marriage doesn’t
come easy not at all and sometimes there
can be years where it doesn’t come at
all yeah but it’s the point of living
out the commitment and so we honor
people that have been married for
50-plus years and we all go man I wish I
wanted you you could you can have that
it’s really really hard but you just
have to want to stick through it and not
to be so stuck on instant gratification
all the time and I don’t know how the
next generation which would be my son’s
generation of how they’re going to raise
their kids which would be as balanced I
hope of working hard and instant
gratification is kind of what we all the
balance is amazing to where something
should be instant in some things I
should work hard for but understanding
the difference between the two is a
major issue major issue and it’s hard
because if we have it easier we want to
make it easier for our kids naturally I
don’t want them to struggle I don’t want
them but they need to learn I want my
kids are strong but they don’t they
don’t right they don’t
as much as I did and it is nearly as
much as our parents and then our
grandparents and so we spending we spend
intentional time investing into them and
teaching them things that they don’t
want to learn like working on a truck or
how to weed or how to do the things that
suck but you get the great result out of
it a really nice garden is only nice
because somebody’s up there weeding it
all the time but we can’t figure that
out in a marriage that if nobody’s
working on their marriage and it just
kind of goes downhill if you have a nice
garden it’s the same exact process that
you have to put something into it all of
the time and so we wanted to get to the
point especially at the end of the year
but you guys have started thinking and I
don’t want to say resolution but in
terms of goal setting yeah what do you
want your marriage to be next year and
what can you two agree on and we don’t I
don’t want like 20 different things that
have sex every day we’re gonna date
every week you know it doesn’t have to
be all that but just the big goal of you
know what we’re gonna fall in love with
each other again what does that look
like what’s that look like
and then let’s execute that and then
once you fall in love with each other
again then you could think of another
goal but I would say that most of the
time when we’re doing marriage coaching
that’s kind of one of the biggest
complaints we’re just we’ve fallen out
of love well guess what we’ve fallen out
of love and guess what
well still still married her parents
that have been married for I’ve fallen
out of love they’re still married and
that’s kind of the whole point of you
know learning how to fall into love and
out of love and all of that and still
being committed to the person that
you’ve promised to be committed to
because it’s that deep deep satisfaction
what’s that comfort you know I said to
him today I go you’re gonna have to live
just as long as me because I can’t
imagine doing this all over again I have
found such a deep status satisfying love
and intimacy and finances and parenting
and household stuff and everything in
that comfort that it’s just it’s right
and I made that I made the joke but I
destroyed her for anyone else and that’s
you know why don’t you live that way
destroy your destroy your spouse for
everyone else that follows you and a
great I do each other yeah yeah you know
what you’re never gonna find another
person that’s amazing is me and the rest
of your life is going to suck because
I’m gone
now if the your partner
laughs hysterically at that you’re doing
something wrong and say hey how can I
destroy you for the next person sounds
horrible I feel secure I feel safe and I
feel loved that’s huge and I feel
touched in all the right places but kind
of I we want you to think of one goal
for next year that is obtainable and
that is meet me double and put it on
your fridge and used to remind you if
it’s if it’s a if it’s a goal of doing
devotions every single day how great do
devotions Oh every single day if dating
once a month if you’re one of those
people that want to go to the gym
together like we do and that’s great
yeah um then go to the gym together
that’s fine but don’t stop doing it
because you miss a day and I think
that’s the biggest issue with an
exercise or meeting or anything that
takes maintenance is that if you miss a
day I’m out that’s why fad diets don’t
work because you miss a day and you stop
doing it well it’s not the diet that’s
the issue it’s you you’re the issue so
just stick to it and make it a goal that
you both can stick to we’re doing the
dirty dirty sex stuff know what more she
ruined for everyone else
yep if I kill over she’s single the rest
of her life pretty much that’s that’s
the goal you should be sure to message s
if you have topics that you’d like us to
cover a few questions
we’ll cover any topics we will live in
our area we do coaching what we do it
over the phone we do it over zum-zum you
but we just want you know that we’re
here for you if you have any questions
let us know and we keep everything
private I always tend to forget to say
that what we do we may use the topic the
topic as an example we know it will not
be Bob and Cindy Brian and Shelly this
is their problem and this is what’s
going on in their life let’s discuss
we don’t Happy New Year you will see you
in 2020 hey stamp late and have sex

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