Marriage 220 – Building Trust
12 Ways to Practically build trust in your marriage
#1. Be transparent.
Nothing should be off-limits between you. Access to social media accounts, no secret or hidden files or accounts and access to all devices.
#2. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Don’t just say fine if it’s not fine. You’re conditioning the other person to not trust you because they know you’re not fine.
#3. Be reliable.
Be where you say you’re going to be and if things change, just let them know, even if they don’t care. This will naturally build trust.
#4. Keep privacy between you.
Don’t share everything with everyone all the time. Keep private things between the two of you so you each know you can trust your dirty laundry won’t be voiced everywhere. It’s not healthy. Stop indirectly condemning your spouse.
#5. Don’t judge.
If your spouse feels you always judge everything you do, say, wear or eat they naturally won’t trust you. Stop judging them but also take loving criticism gently.
#6. Forgive and be gracious.
You’re not perfect either.
#7. Disagree in private.
Don’t argue in front of others or online OR OVER TEXT. Speak face to face in privacy so your partner feels safe to be honest. This will build trust.
#8. Give the benefit of the doubt.
Your partner may really be trying to build trust be we all fail. Have grace, give them the benefit of the doubt that they are where they say they are and don’t immediately jump to mistrust.
#9. Never lie about anything.
Even little stupid stuff. The more honest you are, the more your spouse will trust that you’ll be honest about everything. Know where you stand with someone and where they stand with you.
#10. Have faith in their capabilities.
Everyone has something they do that’s amazing. Support it. The more your spouse feels supported in what they love or what they do or who they are, the more they will trust you even if what they do fails from time to time. Don’t you feel like you can trust someone when they constantly support you?
#11. Talk about everything.
This might drive men crazy but the more you let your wife talk about things the more she will trust you and maybe won’t have to talk as much. Hear me out. I know I don’t have to convince my husband about something because if I say it once, I trust that he believes me and has heard me. We all want to be heard. If I feel I’ve been heard, I don’t need to say it again.
#12. Learn early on that wounds from a friend are the best.
Your spouse is your best friend. Not everything we say will be overly nice but it can always be loving. Learn to take criticism in a loving way, voice why it hurts and learn how it can bring you both together. If we love someone and we see something wrong in their life, we don’t leave them to sabotage themselves. We lovingly correct, build up and move on. Learn how to give loving criticism and how to take it.